October 2012
2 posts
Broke down in front of Mom, this is new..
September 2012
4 posts
I love you Alyssa.
Haven’t been this fucking down since 8th grade… You know what that meeeeaaaaaaaansssss. #welcomebackclinicaldepression
I just want someone to call me and tell me that they miss me and wish we could talk more, and that I mean something to them. Is the conceited?
I really like Emily.. But like, she dated a black guy and they used to party all the time, and she goes to clubs and gets drunk. But I really REALLY like her, but don’t see what I could do for her.. I feel like I can’t do anything for her.. I’m just a nice guy, I don’t have any special skills or anything like that.. I feel so terribly average all the time..
July 2012
5 posts
I could tell you I’m find by myself but I’m actually really really lonely..
“I’m not even sad anymore”? Fuck that. I’m sad.
June 2012
9 posts
So.. Um.. Jerry talked shit on me. That’s cool…
Let me hold you, and don’t let me let go.
Got my ear pierced. Which I guess is cool except that my parents don’t know, my finals kicked my ass this year, I’m in love with a girl that can never love me back, and I’m still fat as shit. Great..
“The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad...”
– John Mayer
These people all suck, I’d rather be home feeling violent and lonely.
Well… My seniors are leaving tonight. And I’m really happy for them: they get to get out of here and start their lives. The problem is, I’m not going with them. I’m stuck in this crappy, judgmental school with 90% of my good friends leaving. Sure I’ll still have who’s left here, but what happens when graduation comes along next year? Idk man… But I have...
May 2012
3 posts
Very very worried about Alyssa. Her eating disorder is way out of control and she’s very down on herself.. She says she’s been throwing up every night and she thinks she’s ugly and pushing everyone away.. I don’t know what to do.. I don’t have all of the answers.. I just want to hug her and not let go..
I have this really bad problem where I meet someone, and I instantly get a crush on them without knowing a single thing about them.. Which is why I’m then so trusting and people let me down…
April 2012
7 posts
Smiling is my defense mechanism..
One of those “nothing is going right at all” nights. Going to bed early.
Waiting For My Rocket To Come
So fucking confused..
I’ll do anything to be happy.
So… After about 3 weeks being out of the closet, I heard some kids call me a fag this weekend. I mean, I knew it was inevitable, but it still hurts..
March 2012
12 posts
The reason I haven’t been talking to many people is for 2 reasons. 1: I always say the wrong thing, and by not talking, I won’t say something I’ll regret later. 2: I’m always the first and only person to send an old friend or anyone else a friendly message asking how they are, but no one ever does the same for me. I’m not texting people because I want to see who will...
I need to be around more genuinely nice people. My self-esteem is dropping daily.
I’m crying. All of the people I hang out with on a regular basis, minus John and Gage are all assholes. And the people I want to be with are always busy. And the seniors are leaving way too soon. I’ll be over here drowning in tears 3 The catch is, I can’t let them see or they’ll make fun of me more.
I wish I was a girl because in front of 95% of people, I’m not myself. Even Gage. But I say this because I know that it’s like more than just being gay. Like, I’m literally more excited about prom than most upperclassmen girls that are going. And I do girly dances, and talk about girly things, but only a select few people (all girls) see this side of me, who I really am. And me,...
It’s times like these I really DO wish I was a girl…
I’m missing something…
“Blue skies are coming, but I know that it’s hard.”
– Noah and the Whale
So, my hairs not that bad. And I’ve been getting compliments and everything. So, I guess I’m happy about that. Also, I’m planning on getting one of my ears pierced soon and getting like a silver ring or something like that for it, should be fun. So that’s what’s new..
This is the shortest my hairs been in 8 years. The lady cut it too short. Holy fuck.
So… I gave her flowers tonight with a really meaningful message and she said thank you for the flowers, but nothing about the message.. Do you ever get the feeling that people smile and are kind to you because they feel bad for you… I feel really pitied right now..
Idk what I’m doing anymore. Like, I’m stuck in this same routine day after day and it’s KILLING me.
February 2012
11 posts
Idk how I feel right now.. I mean, I guess I’m happy. I’ve got good friends and am in not a horribly bad situation. And at the same time, the littlest things people say just put me down.. Idk..
Sometimes I feel like I was meant to be a girl…
To be honest, I don’t know if I’m bi, or if I’m gay. I’ve never been in a committed relationship with a guy, so to be honest I don’t know.
There’s this girl I used to date on and off for more than a year. And she’s fucking crazy. And I want nothing to do with her. And I wish I had never met her. And yet I still want her. What? This really needs to stop.
EVERYTIME YOU SEE THIS POST, REMIND YOURSELF TO KNOCK IT OFF.
One of my best friends is a lesbian. I love her, she’s fantastic, she’s wonderful, she’s drop dead gorgeous and she’s an individual. But she’s been having eating disorders, trying to lose weight, and it’s just not her. I’m really worried about her. She’s getting help soon, and it’s going to take her out of school for a month. I hope it really...
“If chivalry is dead, it’s because women killed it and then defiled the...”
One of my worst fears is my future. I’m pretty much average in school, but am in honors classes, and it seems like everyone is going to graduate from a great college and be successful. I look around at all the adults around me. I’ve asked some before: “What did you want to do when you were in high school?”, and they all tell me these dreams that they had. And now their...
I had my first sexual experience when I was 8, and it was with a guy. I asked him if he remembered anything about it a few years ago, and he refused to talk about it. He was my best friend.
