It seems like no matter how positive things get in my social life, something always tells me that somehow I’m going to mess it up. Cristina makes me so happy whenever I’m with her but she trusts me and I keep thinking I’ll let her down. It’s like.. Even though I have an umbrella, there’s still a rain cloud that won’t go away. And I’m always second guessing how much she actually cares about me because she’s so beautiful and so many other guys out there and I’m always wondering, why me? Self-esteem is getting better but I’ve become kind of cynical.